One of the most common things that holds us back in life is a fear of finances. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard (and said myself): I would love to do _______ but it’s too expensive (attend a retreat, attend a teacher training, go back to school, take a vacation, etc).

Recently, I stumbled into a new approach on this topic. I’m a fan, huge fan, massive woman crush, of a woman named Caroline Myss. She’s written many books and has her own mystery school. She is a theologian and most importantly for me, a bit of a sarcastic genius. I was recently revisiting one of her audio books called Archetypes. She shared something fascinating and powerful and it struck me smack between the eyes — our relationship with money is just that — a relationship. Like a marriage or a friendship. It’s something we pour energy into and the quality of the energy we assign to this relationship defines it. This can be a mind blowing concept, albeit abstract.

So how about it? If you looked at your relationship with finances, what is the quality of that energy?

Is it love/hate based?

Is it anchored in fear? Lack? Dread or procrastination?

Or on the flipside…

Is it joyful, fond, respectful?

Is it nurturing?

Is it based on trust? Is it kind?

Are you carrying around a conviction of a lack of worthiness or a certainty that you will never have enough?

Do you consider robust finances a “necessary evil”?

And now… ponder — how do you like to be treated in relationships? We all know that one friend who doesn’t really want to see us or take our call. We all know when we’re being jilted or lied to or avoided. Conversely, we also know the feeling of being cherished, adored, respected and admired.

Here’s the thing. We are powerful beyond measure. And our beliefs are simply things we tell ourselves over and over again.

If we want to shift this dynamic, consider this paradigm shift:

1. Observe your relationship with money. See it in it’s truth. We don’t have to understand it but just notice it. Honestly. With compassion. Without judgment. And then accept that is what is has been like. Emphasis on the word has. Acceptances creates space. Acceptances releases power. Accept.

2. Now… Visualize how you would like for it to be. And then feel it. Feel that emotion, yes, it’s an emotion, with certainty and conviction. Love, fondness, adoration, certainty, kindness, nurturing, consistency, awareness, security, stability, respect… These are just a few ideas. Fill in your own thoughts and desires. Capture them. Journaling is extremely handy in this process.

3. Next… Allow. Every time you feel yourself dip back into your old patterns, assuming they weren’t serving you, reach for the way you’d like to feel in this relationship instead. It takes mindful, frequent, vigilant focus, awareness and presence. You might slip from time to time. That’s ok. When you do, get back up. Dust off your drawers and begin again. Without reproach. Without guilt. Without anger or blame. Then.. Before you know it, a new relationship will begin to manifest.

Abundance can be yours. The Universe is infinitely kind. Simply believe.

Lean in and believe.